Stubbs BBQ Giveaway over at Frying Bacon Naked

First, I do not recommend Frying Bacon Naked, lol, but what a catchy blog name eh? Head on over there and check out her Stubb's BBQ giveaway, not just one bottle but a whole case of BBQ goodness! Now scoot! hehe

Playing around with textures:)

Original

I tried some textures on this picture and then ran it through my painter program. Trying to decide if I like it, lol...but was fun to fiddle around with the picture:) Constructive opinions welcome:)

Just the texture

Painted

I heart faces fixit friday #15

My official post for this contest is at my Faith on Fire blog, but I wanted to post it here too:)

Before (What a little cutie!)

Honestly, I didn't want to do too much to this picture because I though she was just so adorable! So, I brightened the picture and brought out her eyes:) I use Paint Shop Pro Photo X2:)

Blushing:)

Isn't this the sweetest award ever? Sara over at Ordinary and Awesome gifted me with this (and she made it too!)! I just want to give her a big ol hug! So, who do I want to pass this along too?...let's see...

Anissa @ My Chaotic Life
Alli @ No Time for Flashcards
Sandy @ Just For Fun
ABC Jesus Loves Me
Angie @ Bring the Rain

You're A SUPERSTAR!

Good Morning! What a beautiful day it is today:) Good sleep and a gorgeous morning, what more can a lady ask for? Well, I need to pass out my Superstar Award to five lucky bloggers:) Ready, set, go!

CC @ If only I had SuperPowers
Jen @ Buried with Children
Pam @ Mom's Mutterings
Angela @ Nine More Months
Amanda @ I Am Mommy

Enjoy!
Michelle

Two Awards

The first Award was given to me by sweet Anissa over at Our Chaotic Life! Can I just say this lady has become a fabulous friend to me:) Thank you so much!

I promise in the morning I will pass it on to 5 deserving ladies:)


The next award...I'm so embarassed! I cannot remember who the sweet person is that gave it to me! I am so ashamed! My procrastination is killing me! Please let me know if you see this and gave it to me!!!

It's all about that sense of control

Cutting. It seems cutting is the new "popular" addiction for kids to get into. I'm not saying this to be mean or hurtful, in fact, I'm dealing with a teenager that is experiencing this form of self mutilation myself. I can honestly say that I do understand why people do it. I was there once.

There was a time in my life where I felt I had not control. I was in a failing marriage that was mostly my own fault. I was seeking affection, recognition, feelings from online experiences that were definitely not healthy. Basically, I was numb. I had detached from my family so completely that there were days where I could not tell you what I had done or who I had been with.

Cutting for me started on accident. In the world I had delved into, inflicting pain was a way to spark arousal. The very dark world of BDSM became a passion for me because through the pain came life for me. When I was starting to feel lost, I would take a knife and cut a discreet part of my body. The pain and blood made me feel human again...

Fast forward 6 years and I am now watching my oldest go through this same thing. His words were the same as mine back then and as a mother, my heart was broken. This is not what I wanted for my children. I didn't want them to ever feel empty, numb, broken. I've tried so hard to be the kind of mother that filled them up with praise and positive reinforcement, but the one thing I wanted to take away from them, I couldn't. My whole family has suffered from some sort of mental illness as far back as I know. Depression, anxiety, suicidal, mania...not a good mix at all. And now I'm seeing these symptoms in both of my older children.

Yes, I have B signed up for therapy. I know that he needs that source to help heal and be given the tools to deal with the day to day life. The one thing my son has that I did not have is a strong foundation in God. He has people in is life that can help him stand accountable to his actions.

Some interesting statistics:

Over the past year, one in five females and one in seven males have engaged in some form of self-injury type behavior. The growing concern of “cutting” is now on the forefront of many mental health agencies, schools and youth leaders concerns for young adults today.

The “Cutting” Edge Facts

• 90% of self-injury individuals begin harming themselves during their teen years or younger.
• Cutting and other self-injury behavior crosses all cultures and socio-economic norms.
• Cutting and self-injury is a method used by individuals to take care of themselves, their feelings and actions.
• 40% of all individuals who commit self-injury type behaviors are males.
  Almost 50% of cutters or self-injury individuals have reported being sexually abused.
• Almost 50% of self-abusers begin at the age of 14 and continue into their 20’s.
• Some studies indicate that cutting and other self-injury behavior is learned from friends or peers.
  

(source: http://www.scottcounseling.com/wordpress/cutting-self-injury-facts-statistics/2009/02/06/#content)

The following are common reasons why individuals cut or self-injure:

• Anger or stress relief
• Escaping a bad or unwanted feeling
• Expressing emotional pain
• Influencing peers or family
• Preventing suicide
• Coping with feelings

Common reasons self-injury individuals give for NOT stopping this behavior:

“I can do whatever I want with my body.”
“I am now in control.”
“The scares remind me of my control to control my pain.”
“My cutting does not hurt anyone but me.”
“If I don’t self-injure, I may do something worse.”

Brain Chemistry Behind Cutting and Self-Injury

Brain chemistry may play a role in determining who self-injures and who doesn’t. In the early 1990’s, Favazza & Simeon found that people who self-injure tend to be more angry, impulsive, anxious, and aggressive. Their studies provided evidence that some of these characteristics may be linked to deficits in the brain’s serotonin system. In 1994, Zweig-Frank also suggest that degree of self-injury is related to a serotonin dysfunction and in 2000, Steiger , in a study of bulimics, found that serotonin function in bulimic women was significantly lower in bulimics who also engaged in self-harm. Serotonin acts both as a chemical messenger that transmits nerve signals between nerve cells and that causes blood vessels to narrow. Changes in the serotonin levels in the brain can alter an individual’s mood.

(Source: http://www.scottcounseling.com/wordpress/why-do-people-cut-or-self-injure/2009/02/09/#content)

As parents, it is our responsibility to watch over our children. It is crucial that we stay connected with them even when they push us away. I know its hard, believe me I do! But do it anyway. Be sure they know you love them, be sure they know you are there and ready to listen, no matter what they have to say. Listen to them...

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Bubba and his Grandpa! B Man really looks up to his Grandpa Varney! My Dad has been there for him through the good times and the bad. B really thinks the world of him:)

Confused

I don't even know where to begin other than I just read a note by my 17 year old son saying he's been cutting himself. And here's what terrifies me, he says that he's stopped because of someone he met...a girl. Don't get me wrong, I really like this young lady, but when will my son seek his guidance, love and healing through God and God only? I want to scream right now! He's over at his Dad's, so all I get from him is...oh, he doesn't do that! Of course not! I'm going to quit blogging now because nothing nice is going to come from me and that isn't right...so good night for now.

Memorial Day Rambling and the week in review

At Jacob's Well, Jesus taught her that the "true worshiper will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him." (John 4:23)

When you read that bible verse, what does it make you think? For me, it's a challenge. I realize he was speaking to a woman who had been divorced many times, and was currently living with a man out of wedlock. Jesus essentially called her out, which makes me kinda chuckle, cause I know that there is a time in my life he would have done the same exact thing to me. But now that I am a christian who is on the meat of the Bible, I have expectations of myself and other who put themselves in this category. Basically, step up, do the work the Lord has given. Okay, so there was my soap box speech for the day...onto the fun stuff!

What a crazy busy week this has been! The babies are participating in Tot School, and though we didn't do an activity every day, we did do some and I wanted to share:)

Working on sorting with little bears and plates. They both did so good!

Love coloring outside with the chalk!

Even our sissy likes to play with chalk! She made our names really big so we could color them in!

Before the sidewalk was covered!

Lunch outside! So much fun! We are getting a picnic table tomorrow, so we'll be able to do this easier then!

Round and round we go, where we stop, nobody knows!

Daddy went and bought us the Dance dance revolution game! We love to dance!

Big J got his haircut for the very first time! He did soooo good for his daddy! Not a single tear and he actually seemed to enjoy it! I'm so proud of my little man:)

Fun and exercise at the park! Climbing and sliding and climbing some more!

Tunnels are fun too!

Then we got to play in the fountains! We weren't too sure about this and made Daddy come in with us....see below! Daddy loves us so much!

A very busy week! The last picture is all of us at our church, Glenn Park. The pastor is covering Family Ties this month and I think that is something our family has down pat!

Fancy Schmancy Designs Giveaway:)

How cute is this? Head over to Fancy Schmancy Designs to enter to win the plate:) Go on, you know you want too! :)

HomePlace Structure Giveaway

Alrighty, I know I blog about a LOT of giveaways, but this one is AMAZING! We are talking about a giveaway that is worth $3800.00! Yeah, that's right! Check this out! Over at MomDot and Skip to my Lou, they are having this fabulous giveaway of a HomePlace Structure Swingset! Here's more info on HomePlace:
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About Us Overview HomePlace Structures exists to provide a variety of structures that add comfort, enjoyment and function to properties nationwide, accenting homes, parks, businesses, and gardens. We customize products for discriminating buyers across the United States, shipping from our base among the Amish of Lancaster County, PA. Read more...

Our promise of excellence
I proudly bring you HomePlace Structures - a family business with a history of woodworking that goes back many generations. Although we are a nationwide retailer of fine-quality outdoor products, we have not forgotten our heritage. We promise to continue the legacy started many years ago - a legacy of quality, integrity, honest business dealings, and value.

We are sure that you will find us helpful, friendly, and easy to deal with. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to help you enhance your homeplace. Read More...

Unsurpassed quality and craftmanship

Nestled in the rolling hills of southeastern Pennsylvania lives a quiet community of people. These folks, known to the outside world as "the Amish", have been building family heirlooms for over two centuries. The Amish, a deeply religious sect, are known world wide for their old-world craftsmanship. They drive horse and buggies, and refrain from many "worldly trappings" such as electricity, telephones, and automobiles.

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Yeah, that's right, not only do they do swingsets, they have little playhouses, LOG CABINS and more!!! It is so worth it to go and check out all of their products and dream a little:)

Now, don't forget to go over and see the awesome ladies at MomDot and Skip to my Lou who are responsible for this GREAT giveaway!

Aloha Friday 5/25

Welcome to this week’s edition of Aloha Friday.

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the weekend. So I thought that on Fridays I would take it easy on posting, too. Therefore, I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing that requires a lengthy response.

If you’d like to participate, just post your own question on your blog and leave your link below. Don’t forget to visit the other participants! It’s a great way to make new bloggy friends!

My question is:

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

After you let me know what fabulous place draws your desire to travel, head over to An Island Life and see what other folks asked!

So cute! Piggy Paint!

For all you who have little girls that love to get their toes painted, want a product that is safe to use on them?? Sure you do! 3 Kids and Us is doing a fabulous giveaway for Piggy Paint! Piggy Paint has a variety of awesome colors to choose from and the names are pretty cute too! lol Head on over to 3 Kids and Us and enter to win a $20.00 gift certificate!

Today is a new day

Man, I was a whiner yesterday huh? I want to think each and every one of you that posted to me on the blog post Fruits of my Labor? Your words were so healing to me! So today, I headed out to the Y to do Beginner Step...not sure what was beginner about it! lol But I made it halfway through the class! Yeah! Then today I decided to go over and visit Weight Watchers. I bought the starter pack and I'm learning the whole point system thingie.

Here's honest for you, I completely UNDERSTAND why I'm not losing weight! GeeeZ! I'm eating way too much at my 3 meals a day! No wonder I'm not losing any weight! But, I do well at following things they don't necessarily tell me WHAT to eat but how much, so off to the WW journey I go!

My Dad, who is a personal trainer sent me this today and I wanted to share:)

SUCCESS IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE.
-----------------------------------------------
Success or failure? It's always your choice.
You alone have the responsibility to shape your life.

Once you understand this,
nothing and no one can deny you success.
There's really no one to stop you but yourself.

More powerful than all the success slogans ever written
is the realization that everyone has but one boss.
That boss is you.

Your life will always be to a large extent what you make of it.
No one can cheat you out of ultimate success but you.
If you want to be successful, you can be successful.

Don Varney

I really love my dad!

Father's Day Giveaway Fun

Let me tell ya, I know the Daddy of my four deserves something special for this Father's Day:) He works so hard to provide for us! What can I say, I really love him a LOT!

Over at Kiddies Corner Deals, Nichol is doing a weeklong giveaway starting next week! So head on over there and check it out!

Awe-Summmmm Award!

The sweet lady over at Together We Save gave me the Queen of All Things Award! I love it!

Here are the award rules:

List 7 things that make you Awe-Summm and then pass the award on to 7 bloggers you love.

Make sure to tag the recipients and let them know they have won! Also link back to the Queen that tagged you.

7 things about me:

1. My church
2. My family
3. I am always on time
4. I am a pretty good listener
5. I am learning to let God lead my life
   
6. My friends
   
7. I love that I get to do the job I adore, photography!
   

The 7 blogs I tag:

1. Kris @ Hands, House, and Heart Full
2. Tara @ Not So Perfect
3. Cinderella @ The Path Less Traveled
4. Sara @ Ordinary and Awesome
5. Angela @ Nine More Months
6. Amy @ Living Locurto
7. Shanda @ A Teachable Heart

Again, thank you so much for the award! I really do appreciate it!

Lovin' some summer giveaways! Sun Smarties Pop-Up Pools

Yeah, that's right! Over at Mommy Goggles, she is giving away this amazing pool! I mean, really? Go check it out!

Gear Up for Summer Party-Step2 Water Rush Quarry (giveaway)

Over at Life starring Ellie and Eve! Okay, is this not one of the most fabulous giveaways ever!?! Sand and water tables are the bomb diggity! lol Yeah, I said it! Head over to to Life starring Ellie and Eve and enter!

Potting Shed Giveaway

Head on over to Mommy Goggles to enter this great giveaway! These little planters are just adorable and you can add reading into the whole project! I said I'd love to win the Jack and the Beanstalk planter can...I'm telling you, its toooo cute! Go take a peek!

No fruits for my labor...?

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Okay, here we go, I'm going to humble myself and share my night with you. Really, it started today after I worked out and crawled up onto the cursed scale. Nope, not a single pound lost. Haven't lost a pound in 2 weeks now. I work out Monday through Friday, sometimes Saturday in these last two weeks, and what do I have to show for it? Nada. So, I think, ha, I'll measure myself, its been two weeks, surely I've lost an inch somewhere...again, NADA! I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, all 306 pounds of me and that ugly little voice in my head started talking..."I really hate my hips and look at that stomach, Gawd, how does your husband even bare to look at you? I mean really, you disgust me!" Yeah, who needs enemies when your worst one lives right in your own head?

I go to OA tonight and the story I read is about a woman who grew up looking for acceptance anyway she could. Her addiction was alcohol, but her words, her thoughts were exactly the same as mine. If I prepare the best recipe for the party, people will love me. If I get praise for my cooking people will accept me. How dumb is that? Food, food, food. I hate it that I have worshiped my stomach as if it is a better god than Jehovah is. Again, another failure for my lovely little voice to tell me.

I sat here tonight after OA, tears in my eyes, explaining to my husband that I am nothing but a failure. God is punishing me for all the bad things I have ever done in my life! How absolutely ridiculous is that? But I swear by everything I own, I mean it from the very bottom of my heart. How could a God so amazing have the time to worry about me and I definitely deserve every ounce of punishment and wraith he could ever pour out on me from decisions I've made in my past.

Then my husband softly says to me, "What your feeling is not God." He tells me that in the past month I have done more, shown more emotional improvement than I have in all the years he's known me. He reminds me to go to Job. Job had it all going in the right direction, then satan steps in and slowly begins to destroy him. Job never, ever lost faith in God. I cannot imagine though the nights he had to lay there in bed and just want to scream, WHY ME!?!? I'm there right now! Why me!?

I really hate being a whiner, so we'll just add that to the long list of things I hate about myself...but here's the one thing I KNOW without a doubt, my God loves me. HE LOVE ME! Faults, fatness, depression, frustration, destructive me. I really need to hear encouragement ladies, so please lend me your gentle words.

Until tomorrow, may God bless you and hold you close.

Michelle

Slim Perfect Swimwear Giveaway:)

These bathing suits are pretty neat! They help cover up those trouble areas' on our bodies. If you head over to Potamus Prefers, you can sign up for the Summer Block Party giveaway!

Tell them Michelle sent ya;)

Mostly Wordless Wednesday

Thought it would be fun to show what it looks like to go full term with twins! I cannot believe just how big I was! lol You can see, my coloring was off, they little boogers were draining me dry, lol! But I would do it again in half a sec!

Want to see some more great posts, click on the Wordless Wednesday button and check things out:)